What a year! what a dog year!
You also may have heard the same thing so many times « this year has been extra-ordinary, but please… not twice! » if you remember well, the Chinese horoscope was predicting « a great year to lead projects, but be careful of your health » So indeed, in my case, I have finished Rivers, totally wiped out, so it fits quite well, but the project was not my movie… it was… me. and yeah be careful of the health! mental health!
it has been hard, so hard. still, the more this year is coming to an end, the more i can reflect on it, and the path has actually been quite exceptional :
I was reading Rupi Kaur saying « making friends out of strangers, making strangers out of friends », i had that too, it was beautiful and so painful.
likewise, i have never created so much, i have never produced so little.
i have learned to say YES (yyyyeeeesssss!) i have also learned to say no.
i have never learned so much, i have never destroyed so much.
i’ve experienced being jealous, mean, meaningless, hurt, hurting… intensely. what a dark year! at the same time i have never loved and been loved so much. what a bliss-full year!
i have never felt so feminine, i have never pushed my masculine to that level.
i have never surrendered so much, i have never been more in control of my destiny…
in western culture, this could sound contradictory, or at least contrasted, but in the eastern culture (or culture from the « center », depending on where you come from) we may call it … the path of the middle. as Robert A. Jonhson had it in his book “Owning your own Shadow”(the post is to be read here) :
(the path of the middle) is not the place of neutrality and compromise, it is the place of the peacock’s tail and rainbows.
the Earth Pig will soon take over. it announces motion and positiveness. it should favor creation, blooming, apparition of new beings, new states, new models. Shall we go? i am wiped out but but full of colors.
I am ready!