2 years ago, my brother Lâm, showed a video featuring the married couple of dancers Keone et Mariel Madrid (we have seen them here already). We decide to watch a 2nd, 3rd… 15th one. We then dream together and the idea emerges to participate one day to Urban Dance Camp. I love dancing, i’ve been taking modern jazz classes for 15 years, but i scarcely know nothing about hip hop, i then get more and more interested, i just love it, search for classes, find one, the one does not work… it looks like a complicated affair (#job #kids) etc.
Two years later, which means some months ago, i take a drink with a friend, talking about upcoming holidays with no specific plans for it… “you should get out of your comfort zone” he says. damn!
the idea to go to UDC strikes me immediately and I know it is the right thing to do. it is going to be hard but I am 40 (almost)(in 3 years)(damn) so if i have to wait to be good at Hip Hop, i will never go to UDC. indeed.
SO?! It was hard! hahahahah! hahahahah, it makes me laugh because that feeling darkened all the others, until recently while i was sharing my expérience with my friends and realised how it was, essentially, incredibly CRAZY. to put it in other words, i looked like crap (don’t ask me for video, thank you), but it is not the only thing. by far.
To give you an idea, the camp is in Lorrach (in Germany, near the french-suiss border)(thanks for asking). we are in a very big room with a super large mirror so that anyone can see his reflection easily. there are big fans every other meter. we are 100 participants, some of them come from Australia, Japan, Alaska, Peru, Indonesia… CRAZY. there are almost only professional except 16-y-o geniuses (as a reminder 16 x 2.5 = 40)(just saying) and 3 fearless/dumb girls who did not met before, 3 parisians, including me. CRAZY. our professors also come from all around the world. they have danced with Mickael Jackson, have realized choreo that were shared by millions of viewers, they even invented a Dance… truly CRAZY! i have taken the mini-tiny 4-days schedule, but some have opted for a 2-months session. CRA-ZY!
to be bonnest, it was hard, but not on a physical aspect. i was the first one to be surprised but my body was doing really well. what was hard was… myself. i was so hard with myself. damn! i can truly tell you i have touched the borders of my self-acceptance. it not english (it was not french either) but the situation is critical. at least, it was. it almost never feel i suck, but then… hahaha. holy shit, i sucked so much! HAHAHAHAHA
breafly speaking it was a continuous battle against myself to feel something else (i sucked so so much). i managed to do it most of the time, because i am 40 and not 5 (40 / 5= 8), at 5, i would not go out skying because i failed my exam and could not handle it (it took me 15 years to go back skying). it is sooooo good to be old! today, i can help myself to overpass my fears. when i felt bad i could say to myself : “you don’t understand the steps : okay! but look : look at the professor, look at the class, the energy, everything, it is… CRAZY! take it, it is a gift!” furthermore, it was so intense, that it was good to be 200% into it. the tiniest deconcentration, all the more for such idiot auto-centered consideration, made me loose the whole magic of the moment. eventually, i would say : there is the fact to be under the level, and there is the fact to consider yourself as being such, and it is the 2nd part that makes you suck. not the first one. sometimes i felt it so strongly, i wanted to do Hara-Kiri in Lorrach. i never felt that before (AND NOT BECAUSE IT WAS MY FIRTS TIME IN LORRACH). whatever your level, you have to love yourself. you have to cherish every minute. you have to work. i could not do as if i had the level, i had to accept i did not, i had to welcome and integrate it and then concentrate on much more important things, such as learn, dance and BE KIND TO MYSELF. furthermore i have to insist in the fact no-one looked down at me, i never felt a bad vibe from anybody, it was more the contrary. it was just a battle with myself.
i can now say i DID GO OUT FROM MY CONFORT ZONE.
with Devin Jamieson, 1 the 10 dancers, out of 5000 to be chosen by Mickeal jackson for his This Is It tour
with Anthony Lee. every girls were trying after he danced, the boys just did not dare.
so in 4 days, i did also have my glorious moments, i won some battles, i eventually managed to do some new steps. i never gave up. NUNCAAA! more important : i was taught music as never before, i understood interpretation as never before, i spoke with incredible artists. students encouraged each other. and mostly, i felt alive, i felt millions of émotions, i cried, i shouted, i laughed, i clapped my hands, threw my shoes. and not only once. UDC was all that. and there was the music and i know that at some moments, i felt well, i felt truly and deeply happy, and i know that at some moments… i was dancing.
i don’t dream to be a dancer but i was dreaming to dance at UDC and.. I DID IT!
i stop for today. is there anyone left?! next time i will tell you more about my teachers. it was really something! and what they taught us goes beyond dance. still… when they dance, it can look like this :
it is not the video of our class but i can tell you we where screaming all the same. i wish you a marvelous day. make it special and CRAZYYYYYY!!