Oh it has been a long time since we touched back on this “twenties” series that is so dear to my heart. Last year during our Seymour+ workshop, Melissa evidently played the the game. So Melissa tell us was you felt when we first met whereas you were someone else.
“please note for those who don’t know that Seymour is Melissa’s father name”.
The only photo I found (it actually found me) of myself when I was around 20 years old is a photo with my dad. What surprises me the most is my protective gesture. In my recollection I thought he was the one protecting me but this picture shows the opposite. During my entire life I thought I was weak and that it was my parents who were lifting me up, but it turns out that while looking at that photo I can see it’s them who were counting on me. This photo takes me back to a past within which I was caring for others before myself. I lived from the outside in, in reaction to the others, tending to their needs. Now I still care for others because it’s my passion, but I do it in a more balanced and healthy way… I take care of myself first therefore my tenderness goes out to others without expecting something in return. I now pour from a glass half full and not half empty. The “water” that I share is therefore healthier, cleaner.
The day the photo was taken, I worked at the office very late again and I changed in the bathroom where the party was. No time for femininity, or me time to get pretty. I barely recognize myself, I have the feeling that it’s someone entirely different. What is surprising is that I was happy during this era because I didn’t know yet what I was missing, I was in a cage without knowing it.
Since then I discovered life, a life of freedom where I can be myself and trust my own ideas, feelings and instincts. The path since then has been rough but I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. In my case I feel substantially better, more beautiful, more fulfilled, stronger, softer, more “myself” today at 48 years old then when I was twenty.
Photos don’t come to us by accident, this one is very revealing-head to head, we look like conjoined twins. I think that I still have some work to do with the past. The energetic link is still very strong. Maybe with his body imprisoned by the multiple sclerosis, he was trying to transmit his ideas to me, a piece of his soul…so that I could continue to carry them in the world?
This text is a translation, please find the original in french here.